Inside My Head

I’m writing this first as an understanding that every human being desperately wants to feel a connection to something no matter how big or how small.  It’s in our want and need for that connection that we sometimes take drastic and often destructive measures to attain that connection and sometimes it’s the foolish actions we take that cut off our chances for a connection.

With that said, I hope your eyes are still connected to these words because this information is especially necessary for every woman on this earth.  I present to you, a man’s point of view on understanding men.  This is such a serious and debatable topic of discussion that of course won’t go away with just the words that I’m saying, but hopefully my words will help women understand men better.  You can google “understanding men” and you’re hit with over 11,000,000 results and magazines like Cosmopolitan, Essence, and Redbook will claim to share the ultimate secrets of understanding men, but there’s one problem I need to speak about.  You will never ask your mechanic for a pap smear and you should never ask a woman for advice on understanding men!  Even the “happily” married woman is not an expert to understanding men because she only knows the man that she is with and even then, he may be aloof on certain topics that she’s oblivious to.

The first thing you must do in order to understand a man is to leave your brain at the door.  There have been countless comedians that speak on  how simple a man is and many have broken down our basic needs to 1) food, 2) sex, and 3)shelter.  Yes, those are our basic needs plain and simple.  For those who want to complicate things, I’ll mention a few accessory needs:

1- Laugh at our jokes from time to time (they may all be corny, but it makes us feel like you’re interested)

2 - Don’t ask us questions that any answer we give will end in an argument

3-  Men will brag about the smallest things and every once in a while, humor the bragging.  It makes us feel good, therefore, we’ll want to do more for you.

4 -  We REALLY don’t want to argue with you.

5-  We actually want to know what’s on your mind.  One of the main reasons is so that we know what to avoid so you won’t be mad(especially at us), but we don’t want to know what’s on your mind or share feelings when we’re doing something that’s important to us.  Yes, this includes any game that has the word “rival”, “playoff” and especially “championship” connected to it.

I don’t necessarily agree with the “men are from mars..” concept, but there are many obvious differences.  Deep down, any decent man that’s in a woman’s life honestly just wants to find out what it takes to make her happy.  The only thing that a woman has to do is open up and let him.  Saying things like “you should know” or “you need to figure it out for yourself” only leaves a man feeling rejected and disgusted.  On top of that, phrases like this are the precursors for upcoming arguments(please take the time to reread accessory need #4).  If you’ve been serious about reading this article, then hopefully either a few misunderstandings have been cleared up or even better, you now know to seek the true source for all male enlightenment…another man!

Every day, we go through conscious and subconscious mental, emotional and spiritual battles. For any battle that we do win, we are fortunate in doing so, but there are three main reasons why we lose any of these personal battles. We are either unprepared to deal with whatever stress has manifested, too weak to overcome it, or we don’t recognize or ignore our inner turmoil. I am not Dr. Freud or even Dr. Phil, but I am a fighter and every day, I am starting to win more of the battles that I used to lose because of the wisdom and understanding that I am getting. It is this wisdom and understanding that I want to share so that you will stop being the underdog in your personal wars.

There are four main opponents I will be discussing and the first villain is called denial. We’ve all heard that “denial ain’t just a river in Egypt”, but that’s one cute quote so that we can get ignore just how serious a problem denial really is. Charles Tremper said it best when he said that “Denial is a common tactic that substitutes deliberate ignorance for thoughtful planning.” because denial is our stubborn refusal to acknowledge and accept that there is a problem we are facing. It’s when we deny that there’s a problem that the problem is able to creep into all parts of our conscious and subconscious life. In our thoughts we not only agonize over the problem, but also over the possible existence of the problem, and consciously we undergo changes like loss in sleep, appetite loss, or it becomes easier to provoke us to anger or wrath. Denial is a beast, but it can be conquered and the first step is confession. It’s not always possible to first admit there’s a problem if we can’t see it, but by speaking out about the effects of our problems, we can slowly start getting to the problem itself.

“You do anything long enough to escape the habit of living until the escape becomes the habit.” - David Ryan. Many are willing to accept that there are many forms of addiction including emotional, mental, and sexual ones, but less are willing to admit their own personal addictions. The biggest reason for this is that any addiction starts out as a harmless side activity we do just to “get away” from our normal everyday stresses. We had a hard day at work so a quick pit stop at the bar for a nice cold one or a stop at the gas station for a lottery ticket is just what the doctor ordered. Sooner than later, our “harmless” activity becomes a habit especially when we fit it into our schedules. Even at this point, we are still ignorant of any harm that could happen because of our new habit and for anyone that would tell us otherwise is simply wrong. So we continue on with our habit that is quickly becoming the answer to all that is wrong with our lives. Our habit isn’t helping us solve our problems, but it sure does help us forget about it just so long as we are glued to our habit. It’s at this point that our “activity” that turned into a habit has finally blossomed to a full blown addiction and it’s these addictions that not only do harm to others, but cause the most damage to ourselves.

Anxiety is defined by Webster’s as “Distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune.” Anxiety or panic attacks are now so commonplace that drugs like Xanax are a household name. These medicines were created by us to address the chemical imbalances that develop from anxiety, but even at their best, these drugs can only alter the chemical balance, but they do nothing to address the issue that caused the imbalance in the first place. The most upsetting part is that we can easily become addicted the drugs we take to cure our anxiety. We launch ourselves into a vicious cycle of anxiety simply because in the beginning we were distressed about a fear that we didn’t know how to handle. It is our own unease and doubt that cause us not just to ponder the possible outcomes, but also to simply panic at the negative possibilities without trying to find the way for us to successfully overcome our issue.

The last and one of the most serious demons I have to mention is depression. At some point in our life there’s a reason to feel a little sad or “blue” about a flat tire, a test grade, or even a paycheck that’s already been spent before we’ve gotten it, but real depression is a mood altering sickness. We go from not just losing sleep over agonizing over our misfortunes, but we become “hermitized” by our problems. That is, we reject and abandon that which could be positive and seek comfort and escape by being alone. There are points in depression that we actually want to seek out help, but we either go to harmful sources for answers or we enter into a state of confusion on how to find a source that we just give up trying.

I have written about four of the most dangerous rivals in your life - denial, addiction, anxiety, and depression, and there is one surefire way to start your healing process…confession. Confession to God or whatever higher power you choose to accept is the easiest and most private way to admit what’s wrong with us. Confession of the wrong you’ve done to the person you’ve wronged heals us because not only do we admit our trespasses and our desire to overcome them, but we also free ourselves from the burden of having to hide our sins. Boxing your demons and succeeding doesn’t start with strength, but it starts with our acceptance of our weaknesses. When we can admit that, we can start figuring out how to get stronger in spite of it. I seek paths to find more strength every day and I leave you with one of the most powerful pieces of literature I’ve ever read on self-motivation to persevere. It’s called “Do not go gentle into that good night” by Dylan Thomas.

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright

Their frail deeds may have danced in a green bay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,

And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight

Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,

Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

“Old habits die hard” is a song by Mick Jagger, but according to the rumor mill, old legends die even harder. On March 6, 2008, a teary eyed Brett Favre formally announced his retirement from football in a press conference at Lambeau Field. I, like many others, were shocked at his decision to hang up his jersey especially after his ‘07 season. Backtracking one year ago to the end of the 2006 season, I was screaming for Favre to retire. This was because ‘06 was one of Favre’s worst seasons since he only completed 56% of his passes for a 73 passer rating with 18 interceptions to boot. Against many odds, Favre had one of his best seasons in 2007 with a 67% completion rate, a 96 passer rating and he broke many records like career touchdown passes(442), most wins by a starting QB(160), career passing yards(61,655), and most consecutive starts for a QB(253) just to name a few. 2007 was definitely the year for Brett Favre to prove that he is an elite quarterback and a future hall of famer, but this season, Favre needs to stand by his word and R-E-T-I-R-E!

There are so many that believe Favre should stay because he is the one that can lead his former team of the Green Bay Packers to the promised land of the Super Bowl. The first problem I see with this theory is Favre himself. Last season, Favre took the Packers to the postseason, more importantly, Favre took Green Bay to the NFC conference finals, but he couldn’t get them to the big game. Lost opportunities like that eat away at a person’s psyche and they either blindly pursue their ambition until they get it or they utterly crumble. What this means for Green Bay is that Favre will fight to win another Super Bowl, but Favre may be fighting more for his own legend and not for the good of the team which could translate to him taking more chances and throwing more interceptions adding to his record of 288. Secondly, it seems that the Green Bay Packer team he left doesn’t seem very thrilled to have him back either because in spite of the rumors that Favre wants to play again, no one in the Packer administration has made any comment. This could be because they feel that the rumors will go away and Favre will remain retired once the season starts, or it could be for a few other reasons. For starters, the man that would be the new Packers starting QB, Aaron Rodgers has been in the league for 4 years, but has only had 59 passing attempts and has never started a football game. The Packers also drafted two quarterbacks earlier this year more than likely to backup Rodgers. If Favre were to come back, it’s hard to see Rodgers wanting to sit out another season so Favre could have his starting job back which would mean controversy in Green Bay either because of Rodgers demanding to start, or because Rodgers would demand a trade leaving the Packers with a 38 year old veteran and two untested rookies.

Even if Favre were to return, he wouldn’t necessarily have to don the #4 jersey in Green Bay because there are definitely other teams who could use or would want to have a QB like Favre. The problem with that is the legend Brett Favre is. The smart thing to do here is to think about former QB’s John Elway and Joe Montana. The reason I mention Elway is because Elway led his former team, the Denver Broncos, to the Super Bowl in 1997 and 1998 and they won both years. Immediately after the ‘98 win, Elway retired with his legendary status intact and on January 31, 2004, he was inducted into the Pro football hall of fame. On the other hand, Joe Montana took a different route. Montana finally got a chance to be the starting QB for the San Francisco 49ers midway through their 1980 season and held this position until 1991 when he sat out the entire season and most of the ‘92 season with an elbow injury. During his span with San Francisco, he helped them win nine divisional titles and four Super Bowls, but instead of listening to his body and retiring, Montana still wanted to play so the 49ers traded him to the Kansas City Chiefs in April of 1993. Montana never enjoyed the same success he had in San Francisco and finally retired at the end of the 1994 season. He was inducted into the Pro football hall of fame in 2000, but these two careers tend to show why it’s always better to go out on top than go out as a fading memory.

The fans are another reason Brett Favre should retire. No matter what wrong Favre has ever committed, he has somehow become the teflon don of football. Everyone wants to see Favre back in action just like he was in 2007 and it’s easy for anyone to get sucked into that hype. The downside is that if he does return and instead of having a banner year like last season, Favre tanks whatever team he plays for, many of his “fans” will loudly protest and basically scream for his head. Favre played around with the idea of retiring after the 2006 season, but he came back. Now that he has “officially” announced his retirement, he should do what DE Michael Strahan, DT Warren Sapp, QB John Elway and every other NFL player like them has done after they have said “I retire”….stay retired. Brett Favre has retired…long live Brett Favre!

WHAT IS THE BIGGEST PROBLEM IN YOUR LIFE NOW?

That’s a question I want you to take some time to think about. I’m not talking about the trivial things like waking up late for work or getting a flat tire, but I want you to think about the problem that keeps you awake at night. This is the same problem that makes you doubt yourself. Got it yet? Now keep on reading.

Now while you have your problem on your mind, I want you to think about the Ironman Triathlon. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s a series of three events….swimming 2.4 miles, biking 112 miles and ending with a 26.2 mile run all done consecutively. The reason I’m mentioning this is because I want to talk about Dick and Rick Hoyt. Dick and Rick Hoyt are a father and son team that have competed in 6 Ironman Triathlons, 65 marathons including 25 consecutive Boston marathons, and in 1992, they biked and ran 3,735 miles across the USA in 45 days. This team sounds pretty amazing, but the reason I mention them is because Dick, the father is 65 years old and Rick, the son was disabled at birth because his umbilical cord wrapped around his throat and cut off the oxygen supply to his brain and he also has cerebral palsy. Dick pulls his son in a special boat as they swim, carries him in a special seat as they bike, and pushes him in a special wheelchair as they run.

For those who enjoy the game of baseball, now I want to talk about a certain pitcher. In his entire career, this guy has played in 263 games and started in 254 of them and has even played in 31 complete games. He may have thrown 53 wild pitches, but he’s thrown 888 strike outs, and pitched 6 shutouts. In spite of his 263 games, he’s only had 21 turns at bat and 2 hits. What makes this man extraordinary is that his name is Jim Abbott. If you’ve never heard of him, the biggest thing that you should know is that Jim Abbott is a left handed pitcher. He pitches left handed because he was born without a right hand yet in spite of his circumstance, he became a professional baseball player.

Now these two stories bring me back to your problem. Your problem is a pretty serious problem because it is serious to you. You’re probably not 65, dealing with cerebral palsy, and you might not be born with a birth defect, but it’s usually you alone who bears the weight of your problem. The point that I want to stress now is that being down does NOT equal defeat. Every day, we all have two choices…to succeed or fail. Honestly, it is that simple because in the face of difficult situations , we can either believe in our hearts that “this too shall pass” or we can think in our minds about how beat down our situation has us. You probably know someone personally who has overcome “impossible” situations or maybe you can remember a trial you’ve gone through that others would have simply quit. Understand that today is a day that you can determine to succeed, but otherwise your failure has already been determined.

“Determination and perseverance move the world; thinking that others will do it for you is a sure way to fail.” - Marva Collins

Your religion means nothing. Your God is fictional and your beliefs are pointless. The higher power that I serve is the only true divinity so your obedience is summarily expected or you can expect dire consequences. As extreme or preposterous as this may sound, some choose to go to battle with ideals like this in mind. The question is where is the rationale in this?

Looking back in history, biblical history to be exact, the first religious war was fought over land. In the bible, the first chapter of Joshua tells of God speaking to Joshua telling him that he and the rest of the Israelites are to take possession of land stretching as far as Lebanon to the Euphrates. In this book, God gave the Israelites permission to destroy any opposition which mainly included the Canaanites in order for the Israelites, his chosen people to have this land. According to my research, God’s purpose for this was so that his people would have a land all to themselves apart from the idol worshipping Canaanites. God didn’t want the Israelites to bow down before false gods like the Canaanites were doing. With God’s help, Joshua conquered this promised land in 6 years and divided it among the Israelite’s 12 tribes. Ultimately what happened is that once this generation of Israelites passed, many of their children disobeyed God and started worshipping idols like the Canaanites did.

Concerning the reasons to go to war, St. Augustine is credited as the first person to create a just war theory. This doctrine has four strict conditions which include that the damage inflicted by the aggressor on the nation or community of nations must be lasting, grave and certain, all other means of putting an end to it must have been shown to be impractical or ineffective, there must be serious prospects of success, and the use of arms must not produce evils and disorders graver than the evil to be eliminated. According to this theory, just cause for war can be to recapture things taken or to punish wrongdoers, but the injustice suffered by one party must significantly outweigh that suffered by the other. The theory also directs how combatants are to act in war and in recent years, some theorists have also added a guide on behavior after war which includes that just cause for termination is if there has been a reasonable vindicdation of the rights that were violated in the first place and if the aggressor is willing to negotiate the terms of surrender.

In my research of monotheistic religions, I have yet to come across any religion where the divinity is a God inclined to war. Many would claim the Muslim religion promotes a belief in fighting according to the concept of the jihad. This is a religious duty of Muslims that translated from Arabic means strive or struggle. It is commonly used in the expression “striving in the way of Allah(al-jihad fi sabil Allah)”, but this expression can also be thought of in terms of Christians striving to be Christ-like. Considering that in mind, Allah and Christ are seen as peaceful deities. The five pillars of islam are five duties that every Muslim is responsible for and these duties are Shahadah(profession of faith), Salah(ritual prayer), Zakah(alms tax), Sawm(fasting during Ramadan), and Hajj(pilgrimmage to Mecca). Some consider the jihad to be the sixth pillar of Islam, but even if that was so, no other pillar mentions anything resembling war or conflict.

“Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” Romans 12:19 KJV. If every biblical reference I have found from Psalms 46:9, Matthew chapter 24, Luke 3:14, to Hebrews 12:14 have all pointed to God being a Lord of peace then how can war be justified? My only answer in this is man. According to Genesis chapter 3, we are all flawed creatures and in our many flaws, we tend to twist and misconstrue words until they are bent to our own desires. So called “religious” wars have been fought and are still being fought over not just opposing ideals, but also over desired land. I further believe that there is no justification for war based on religion because every man and woman has free will and it is our free will that allows us to decide who we serve and how we intend to serve our God.

The want to build muscle is the easiest part to working out. The hard part comes with knowing what to do in order to build muscle. Fear not because in this article I will tell you the 7 methods of madness that have not only helped me train my clients, but have also helped me put on a few pounds of muscle.

1. WORK SMART - Training 6 hours a day seven days a week is a GREAT example of working hard, but it’s definitely not any example of working smart. Even the most educated of gym rats tend to harbor the idea that a long workout that leaves you sore three days later is the only kind of workout to have, but this experience of delayed onset muscle soreness(DOMS) causes a few problems a lot of people are unaware of. One problem to consider is the fact that the sorer you are, the least likely you will want to train any given day. Another issue is the fact that building muscle requires tearing down muscle fibers and building them back up, but if you’re in a constant state of tearing down, there is no chance for your muscles to rest and rebuild.

2. MOTIVATION - What is the force that pushes you to want more? Are you compelled by how others look at you, or do you like to see yourself in the mirror and marvel at the progress you’re making towards the person that you want to be? EVERYONE is motivated by some internal or external desire. The trick is to find out where your motivation lies and use it to your advantage. The main reason motivation is so important is because there will be days that you won’t want to work out or you won’t want to do that last rep, but your motivation will be there to push you along your way.

3. SHOCK - When you dive into cold water, your blood vessels instantly constrict while the blood from your hands and feet move to your abdominal area as you fight for every gasping breath of air you can take in. The same shock your body feels from this experience is akin to the shock you need to give your body in the gym. If you have been doing the same workout routine or training on the same days for the past 3 years, and wonder why you have yet to see any progress, it’s because of the predictability. You can shock your body by adding or subtracting reps, using new exercises to work the same muscles, or just by changing the days in which you train. The main thing to remember is that once your body gets used to a certain workout or a certain training schedule, if you want to get stronger or see more muscle, it’s time for a change.

4. EAT AND DRINK SO YOU CAN BE MERRY - Benjamin Franklin once said, “Eat to live, but don’t live to eat.” I don’t know whether or not Franklin hit the gym, but there is great truth to what he said because a lot of people feel that in order to lose weight or maintain a certain weight, they should eat only once a day. STOP IT! I can’t stress this enough, but trying to survive off one meal a day is like trying to put a cup of gasoline into an SUV and then taking a 3 hour drive. Eventually the car, like your body, will run out of gas and stop. If you haven’t heard it yet, the best benefit of eating 4 or even 5 times a day is that eating more causes you to eat smaller portions because you get fuller faster, and your body has a constant and consistent amount of calories to burn which help to burn fat. As far as water goes, the benefits of drinking it go beyond it simply hydrating you especially during and after workouts. Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue, water helps shut down midnight hunger pangs, drinking 8-10 glasses a day can ease back and joint pain in 80% of its sufferers and decrease the risk of colon, breast and bladder cancer by at least 45%.

5. HUMBLE CONFIDENCE - There is no one reading this that can go to their gym and put every 45 lb. plate that’s there on a bar and bench press it. With that said, the weight you can or can not lift doesn’t matter. Just because the guy next to you can squat 405 lbs. but you start shaking under 135 lbs. isn’t a reason to give up working out or even get frustrated. Humility is necessary in the gym because it makes you realize that as long as the weight you’re using exerts your muscles, then you will build muscle. At the same time that you have to be humble and not use more weight than you can handle, you also have the confidence that the more you work out with a weight that challenges you, the easier it will be to move to a heavier weight. Even for those who mainly choose to do cardio, the more you run, bike, or walk, the longer you’ll be able to go.

6. FIRE - In my gym, I work out with a group of powerlifters. Before one of them starts a challenging set, they scream “GIVE ME SOME FIRE!” and the guy who’s spotting them will slap them in their back…HARD. Now I’m not suggesting that you start hitting people in your gym or even get hit yourself, but you do need some fire when you’re working out. Fire is the passion, and the desire you have that makes you want to work out in the gym. Fire is the intensity that makes you focus on whatever goal it is that you have and fire gives you the determination to destroy that goal.

7. PLAN - The last method of this madness should have also been the first because just as it’s impossible to build a house that will not fall without blueprints, it’s impossible to build muscle without a plan. Keep in mind that the more detailed your plan is from the days you work out, to the exercises and amount of reps that you do, and the foods that you eat, the easier it will be for you to focus on your end goal because everything else is mapped out for you.

Now that you’ve read the 7 methods of madness, reread them now. You’ll see that in these methods lies a pattern. No method stands alone just like these 7 can not be whittled down to 6 or 5. When you start with a plan to help you build muscle, you start to develop the motivation that you need to get into the gym. The smarter you work, the quicker you see results thus the more fire you’ll have to work out. Eating and drinking properly will help you maintain the work you’re doing in the gym and as long as you’re humbly confident, you won’t overload yourself to the point of injury, but you will continuously shock your muscles so that you will see growth.

           “Knowledge is power”. We’ve all heard that before, but I don’t buy this saying. I have a new one for you…

“KNOWLEDGE DOES NOT EQUAL POWER WITHOUT THE COURAGE TO USE IT!”

           This blog is just as much reinforcement for me as it is for anyone else who reads it. I’ve heard the saying, “A jack of all trades, but a master of nothing” and whoever came up with that is absolutely right. We can spend our time absorbing all the books that contain all the information in the world until we have all the knowledge, but if we don’t use what we learn…we’re better off being idiots. 

            Take for example, a man with a brain full of trivia answers. He worked as a software engineer and I’m sure he made decent money doing that, but he decided to use his wealth of trivia and appeared on a game show 74 times in a row. That man’s name is Ken Jennings, and if you’ve never heard of him, just know that he won $2,522,700 playing on Jeopardy. The point here is that all the knowledge that he amassed was worth over $2 million and he used his knowledge to cash in on it.

            Then there’s a man who grew up in Brooklyn. He made money by hustling drugs and there are many who choose to only live that life, but the main thing is that there’s always a choice. This man decided to use his knowledge of hustling and his lyrical prowess and started an independent rap label with 2 friends. That label was Roc-a-Fella records and that man is Shawn Carter, better known as Jay-Z. Today, 11 years after he helped start his label, he is now the CEO of Def Jam Records and his assets include a highly successful clothing line called Rocawear, Armadale vodka, a New York club, and he owns a part of the New Jersey Nets. Your location does not equal your destination and Carter’s life is proof of that, but only because he uses what he knows.

            There will always be many more stories of people who possess great knowledge and have the courage to use it only to enjoy the rewards that their courage has reaped. On the flip side, there will also be many more stories of people who possess great knowledge, but didn’t have the courage to use it and ultimately squandered away their opportunity. You might not have knowledge of trivia, or the mind of a hustler, but whatever brand of knowledge that you do possess…don’t be afraid to use it. If you do find the courage to use it, chances are you’ll be one of the people that others get motivated from…otherwise, you’ll just be one of the ones needing motivation.

“People in this country are ready for change and hungry for a different kind of politics and for the first time in my adult life I am proud of my country…”. In case you haven’t heard, these were the words spoken by Michelle Obama. 31 words are all it took for her to make national headlines, but my question is would her words have mattered any less if she was a white man?

The point of my previous question is to question our own stance on the words of others. Whether we admit it or not and whether it’s consciously or subconsciously, there are a few buzzwords that another race or another sex can utter before we quickly pigeonhole them in the proper category we already assumed they should be in. There are women who have already sized up a man as a male chauvinist pig just like there’s been a man who has felt someone else was a nigger, a beaner, a camel jockey, a chink or a cracker, and all they needed was just the right amount of words to prove their opinion right. Based on what Mrs. Obama said, her words could be taken as someone who didn’t feel “American” until after her black husband won the U.S. democratic presidential nomination, or as commentarymagazine.com has put it, ” the pseudo-messianic nature of the Obama candidacy is very much a part of the way the Obamas themselves are feeling about it these days.” Even though I’m just hearing about her words this week, what strikes me as odd is that she said this on Monday…February 18th.

Without praising or condemning Mrs. Obama’s words, I can safely ask, can we ignore race and sex when it comes to the words of others? Yes, she just like everyone else, should be careful in the words they speak, but we also must get the whole story and not just the part we want to criticize. “…because it feels like hope is finally making a comeback.” This is the end of her statement, but does it make more of a headline to talk about a woman who is happy that people are doing more to show support for a man they want for president or to talk about a woman who feels she and her husband are near a god-like status? At this point, I simply “hope” that we can get over ourselves and work harder at not judging people for what they are, but for who they are.

• About a third of the male adult global population smokes.
• Smoking related diseases kills one in ten adults worldwide, in other words, it causes 4 million deaths.
• If these current trends continue, by 2030, one in six people will die from smoke related deaths.
• Someone dies from tobacco use every eight seconds.
• 10 million cigarettes are sold every minute.
• Between 80,000 and 100,000 children worldwide start smoking every day.
• In teenagers ages 13 to 15 worldwide, about one in five smokes.

Scared yet? Chances are if you’re a non-smoker, you’re flabbergasted by these numbers, but if you’re a hardcore smoker, you’re probably just lighting up. Honestly, that used to be me, the hardcore smoker. I could watch those truth commercials, and those commercials where 300 hearses would drive to the cemetery and every grave was for a smoker without even flinching. No matter how many cold, hard facts I could hear about smoking, secondhand smoke, and just how many people couldn’t stand the air that I breathed because it was filled with smoke, I could not be stopped. I write this now, for one reason alone…I quit.

Yes, after years of actually inhaling, I put my black and milds down. Granted, my “spectacular” feat only happened a week ago, but that’s still a week I haven’t lit up. Honestly, for anyone who is contemplating it, it’s not easy at all! I sometimes find myself holding my pen like a cigar, and even going so far as to puff on it, and from there, I deeply inhale the “smoke” before I finally let out a relaxed and satisfied exhale. Now take into consideration that my dad smoked from his teenage years up until his fifties and he only quit then because he developed emphysema which ended his life a couple of years later. His two brothers, my uncles, passed away from lung cancer, but even with this knowledge, I held fast to my fixation. Crazy isn’t it, but in every addiction lies a bit of madness. So if I didn’t quit because of family history, what finally ended my craving? No, it wasn’t the constant nagging from family because sometimes I smoked just to spite them. I have thought about all the smoking statistics, but even knowing that smoking can kill you, some people right now are still dying to smoke. The reason I finally gave up my habit is because I gave up my excuses to do it. I used to smoke because people would upset me, because I got full from eating, because I was taking a long drive and sometimes I’d smoke just because I “had” to have a cigar. Now of course it’s hard for me not to smoke and there are some who think that my “non smoking hell” is a bit ridiculous, but I’ve learned that one person’s mountain of a problem is only a molehill to someone else. Yes, people still upset me and I still drive, but every day my will gets a little stronger, and every day I find a new reason not to smoke simply because I am the reason I quit.

“Say hello to my little friend!”   There are those among us who have never seen 1983’s Scarface, but most people can at least recognize that this quote came from the movie.  On the other hand, “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast.  And when I run, I feel His pleasure.”, how many of us are able to say where this quote came from?  Hollywood cranks out movies, week after week and month after month, but at what cost?

It’s evident that the movie industry is a multibillion dollar business, but where is the substance?  The money generated from the majority of the movies we watch come at the expense of our own intelligence.  In 2006, two movies based on true stories, Akeelah and the Bee and Take the Lead both came out in April and together grossed $53,590,496 in the U.S.  One month earlier, Ice Age: the Meltdown grossed $195,330,621 while a month later, Mission Impossible 3 grossed $134,029,801.  Now it’s contrary to think that it was the actors that had something to do with poor sales because A Mighty Heart, the true story of Mariane Pearl, the widow of Wall Street Journal reporter, Daniel Pearl grossed only $9,176,787.  Now take into consideration that Tomb Raider: the Cradle of Life grossed $65,660,196 and both movies had Angelina Jolie as the main character.  Basically, no matter how well you dance or spell, you’re only entertaining if you’re animated and no matter how good you look, you need a gun in your hand to make the movie sell.

You’re hard pressed to find an intelligent movie, let alone a true story that is considered a blockbuster by Hollywood’s standards, but who is to blame for the technicolor ruin that is Tinseltown?  Is is the greedy studio executive, the producer, or maybe the director….no, the villain here is the guy who wrote this article and everyone who’s reading it.  Resident Evil: Extinction and the 239th Land Before Time were both able to come out because we spent the money on their predecessors.  Yes, I am happy to say there is a solution to end the lack of creativity and intelligence in Hollywood.  You can do it today and it will cost you absolutely NOTHING!  Simply put, if you don’t watch it, they won’t make it.